


Thunderstruck

by strongjaw



Series: once on SR-1 [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humour, Real slow, Slow Burn, going full shoker, mention of virmire, pre-ilos so far
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9324566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strongjaw/pseuds/strongjaw
Summary: That infamous pre-romance scene in ME1 that is usually interrupted by the mouthy pilot, this time starring Joker himself.





	1. Chapter 1

"Commander, I got a message from Captain Anderson."

Shepard didn't answer. "Commander?" Joker tensed. She was on the ship, he never saw her go away. Plus every message, every report was always checked and sent in time by her, and she definitely never hung up on anybody, let alone Anderson. _Or him_. Until now.

With the Normandy being locked up the crew was technically on the leave till according orders. Nobody felt like celebrating though, just back from Virmire, but since there was nothing to do on the ship most of the team members were somewhere in the wards. Plus Shepard was, well, persuasive when she gave her orders: she stomped back from the Presidium, alone, enraged, and headed straight to her quarters after sending the crew off the ship. Even Joker had to go out, but after wandering through the markets he made his way back as fast as he could.

Last days were rough enough with grief and exhausting. Joker wouldn't say he and Kaidan were firends - they were mostly picking at each other all the time, but it was unfair to lose a good soldier and a valuable team member, and considering that it might've been Ash was even worse, but hey, when life was fair anyway? Or that's what he told himself. Didn't help though. And after losing Alenko another blow from those who _sent_ her on Virmire in the first place didn't make it any easier.

Commander made it clear she didn't want to talk about Kaidan when Williams asked why Shepard chose her. You never have a good answer to something like this, there's no win scenario, Joker guessed, and they had to learn it the hard way.

Still, he needed to make sure she received the message, even if it meant to be stroke with Commander's fury (unless it was physical he could bear it). Anderson sounded anxious when he contacted pilot. The fact that he had to pass the message through someone else was already quite extraordinairy, so Joker took the task seriously. Besides, he was bored anyway, and hoped a little stroll would help.

Walking past Pressley, who also seemed more troubled than usual, he merely nodded. The guy was complete workaholic. "Yeah, says who," Joker thought bitterly; if it wasn't for Anderson, he'd be doing yet another calibration or somewhat, just to stay busy in the pilot's chair.

He headed through the stairs to the mess hall. The deck was empty, and, according the mood, the dim light made it even darker than it was. He spotted Shepard, who was holding datapad leaning in her locker, right away. Yeah, another workaholic here, about time they start a group here on the ship. Vacarian would volunteer. And Alenko... _Shit_.

Shepard clearly was in her thoughts and didn't even hear his crutches thumping on the stairs, Joker wondered if she was into whatever was in her datapad. And as much as he hated to interject, he was also grieving and distressed, just as she might be, and so were Chakwas and Anderson whom she refused to talk to.

"Commander?" He said softly from afar. She raised her eyes to the sound and quickly changed her posture, crossing her arms and retreating from the locker, so when Joker was near enough she looked tall, stern; her face was haunted, but she tried to keep all her emotions out. 

"What's going on, Joker?" Expressionless, all-business tone. Well, he'd rather her be angry at him, but he'd work with it too.

The pilot cleared his throat. "Nothing, Commander, just wanted to pass a message. Captain Anderson--"

"Wants me to meet him at Flux. I know that, thanks," she sounded almost bored, lips curled in bemused arc. "My omnitool almost overloaded with messages. So he decided to bother you? Damn it."

Joker couldn't help but mutter. "Yeah well, I wondered why he had to contact me in the first place. I guess he's worrying, Commander." He felt even uneasier - and shorter than he was - under her gaze. That made him square his shoulders slightly.

She snorted, relaxing against the locker. "Well, too bad since he's not my dad. I don't wanna snap at people, but I still wish I could shoot Udina, so it's probably dangerous to be near me right now."

Fair enough. Joker didn't flinch: "I get it, I'm leaving, just wanted you to know that, you know--" He trailed off and finished lamely. "The message said it was urgent."

"Don't worry, I'll meet him later. 'Guess he just wanted you to jump and find me. Sorry about that." Shepard's tone went softer, but 'dismissed' was quite clear as she shifted her attention to the datapad. Joker wasn't ready to go, not like that.

"Uh, Commander," he started quietly. Seeing him still here, Shepard raised her eyebrows. "I know it couldn't've been easy for you back on Virmire. And the Council grounding us just like that..." He paused again, gathering his thoughts. "Sorry, Commander. Are you alright?"

Shepard sighed and set her datapad on the locker. "I will be." Motioning to the mess tables she headed to the nearest. Thank God, his legs started giving away.

With low grunt Joker lowered himself and caught what he thought was a sympathetic look from Shepard. She averted her eyes soon though.

"I can't imagine what you've been through. I mean, I'm not sure what I would do in the situation like this." The voice was too soft to his liking, now that he noticed. Delicacy wasn't his feature, and he shifted uncomfortably. "Ah, damn it, that's probably not helping."

Shepard threw her head back looking at the ceiling, blinking furiously. Jeff felt a little better that he was not the only one troubling with his feelings. She looked back at him, exhaling. "Just don't wanna make the call like this again... But with Saren it looks like I'll probably have to. As for the Council... well, they won't cooperate, they've made it perfectly clear." She shrugged with grim smile.

"Yeah right," Joker scoffed. "So are we waiting when they pull their heads out of their asses, or are we doing it for them?"

She watched him with narrowed eyes, lips crooked, but almost friendly this time. "You never give up, do you Flight Lieutenant?"

Joker shrugged. "Wouldn't be here if I did. Gotta keep my reputation." He almost lifted his hand to the back of his hand. _Play cool;_ even if he was flattered Commander didn't need to know that.

"Yeah, no doubt," Shepard shook her head with faint smile. "Anderson knew whom to send. He told me your story, Moreau, how you got to fly her." She waved her hand around.

Well, damn. _Anderson, you old fox._  Joker rolled his eyes: "The Captain always knows how to introduce, eh? Well, at least you know that if you need a diversion I'm your man," he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Diversion, huh?" Shepard tilted her head. It looked like she had something else in mind, but thought against it. "Nevermind. I guess we'll figure it out soon. Glad to hear you're ready though, Joker. I appreciate it."

"I won't let you down, Commander." He sat straight and almost snapped at salut, but that would be totally against his image. And too professional for this kind of conversation. "I wanna be there when you make that son of a bitch pay." His tone were firm but Shepard couldn't help but chuckle. How come people laugh only when he's dead serious?

"Which one?" She set her arms on the table, leaning on it. "I have a list of sons of bitches actually."

Joker scratched his head dramatically. "Well, I thought our priority was Saren, right? But there's always Udina and the Council, and - my personal favourite - that creepy guy in the wards who asked for a photo and autograph, so," he shrugged. "S'your call, Commander."

"Verner?" Her eyes widened when he mentioned the fan and Shepard laughed so loud she had to cover her mouth after that. "Nah, he won't be a problem, he's dealt with already." She kept her head low, as if letting him in a secret.

Joker gaped at her: " _Dealt_ with? Something I should know?" He leaned towards her without thinking.

"Just sent the weirdo back home to his wife, talking about how it's important for the Galaxy's safety." She waved away, chuckling.

"What, no goodbye kiss or anything, just like that?" The pilot decided to push, scolding himself for having thoughts about somebody kissing his Commander and feeling jealous about it. Again.

Shepard let out a laugh: "Nope." For the first time since Virmire she was in a good mood. "Why?" There went that studying look again. Yeah, he blew it.

"Nothing, just thought you shot this guy or something, is all."

She smirked crossing her arms. "Well, even if I did, I would have to shoot _you_ for knowing that."

"Now that's not disturbing at all," he retorted dryly. "Threatening your own pilot? I bet that you've been that sweet to Verner too. Poor man."

"I thought he was 'creepy'," Shepard fired back, pleased with herself. Before he opened his mouth she lifted her hands: "Alright, if I wounded your feelings, let me make up for it."

"Okay, then a new seat and case of bitter beer will do," _or a kiss_. Did he just wink at Shepard? Oh shit.

She scoffed, but let it slide. "Slow down Lieutenant, I was gonna suggest a bottle of beer, singular, at Flux. Since we're on the leave anyway." She bit her lip. Wait, _what?_

"Oh, I'm sure Anderson will be pleased when you meet him all drunk, Commander." His tongue was faster than his brain, and he felt dizzy as if he's already had his beer. "But I also want to see that, so I'm in."

"Never said I was gonna drink," now she winked at him merrily, standing from her seat. "Then in ten minutes at the airlock." With that, she went to her cabin in much lighter pace than he saw her hours ago. Not that he was watching. Ah, damn it, who was he kidding.

Coming to his senses Joker realized the flush creeped up to his cheeks.

 _Ten minutes, right._ He needed to get ready.


	2. Chapter 2

"Sorry, Joker, no beer tonight." Shepard cracked a smile, nudging at her pilot.

"Are you _kidding?"_ He whispered over-excitedly (thankfully, he remembered there were people around; besides, she was close enough to hear him - but how, or why, was beyond him). "We're stealing the Normandy, it's like early Christmas present!"

Moreau grinned at Anderson, who crossed his arms, amused by the pilot's sincerety. "Thanks, Santa!" Joker said louder, making Shepard roll her eyes. At her he gasped exasperadely, winking at the Captain. "No, wait, since I've _done_ it before, it's more like Groundhog day!" Shepard groaned and gave him pointed look.

"And here I hoped I was a good influence," Anderson laughed. "Just don't make a habit out of it, Joker."

The Commander and the pilot parried in sync: "Too late," and gaped at each other. After awkward pause both laughed rather nervously.

 _"You too, Shepard."_ Anderson spoke, demanding their attention back. What David meant was more than stealing the Normandy, of course, but Shepard just shrugged.

"Not if I can help it. And they had it coming, by lying and grounding us." This time Joker sagely nodded without a comment. "You sure _you'll_ be okay?" Worry was obvious in her voice, and Anderson almost snorted at how quickly his own pep talk backfired. "Udina won't let it slide."

"He won't; but it'll have to be worth it. Not that there's much of a choice," David shrugged as if waiting for further arguments. Shepard's brow furrowed.

Joker, on the contrary, looked like fully enjoying the upcoming events: "So, any chance you send us pics when you get to Udina?" This time Anderson couldn't help but chuckle and silently shook his head. He was waiting for Shepard's final decision now. They both were, he realized by the way Joker studied Shepard's face.

She looked conivnced, though still hesitant. Looking at the Captain once again, she sighed. "Alright, I guess we better get going then." She stood up, letting only determination show on her face. Joker shuffled a bit, straightening, trying to keep up with the Commander. To his surprise, she was holding one of his crutches ready. Jeff nodded his thanks.

David standed as well. "Take your time, we need you ready. When you're all settled, just let me know." The pilot looked at them rather gingerly trying to decide if he should go first to let them talk, but Anderson thought better of it.

He pulled his hand to shake, much to Joker's surprise. "Look out for each other out there." It was for him mostly, obviously, by the way Anderson looked at him. Then David turned to Shepard, firmly taking her hand in grasp as well. "Once you're at the Terminus systems, there won't be much I can help you with."

Shepard wanted to say something, to hug Anderson, or at least salute him, but the emotions she tried to mask would give up then. Nodding at him, she let go of his hand and looked at Joker.

"Ready, Lieutenant?" Her voice didn't just tremble, nope. Even if it did, it was too loud around to say for sure.

"When you ask me like this? I'm all yours." Joker was not sure if Anderson, decently retreating to the bar, heard him, but there seemed to be quiet chuckles. _Yeah right, poor life choices get along with poor word ones._

Shepard blinked at him. "I'll keep it in mind," she said neutrally, if not artificially (but that's not what should be bothering her right now, she scolded herself).

"Alright, just don't go all mushy on me, Commander, you owe me a drink first," Joker retorted as she stopped staring at him and they finally moved (away from Anderson's gaze).

At least she laughed at _that_. "Noted."

They walked out to contrastly quiet Citadel strip. Shepard sent the crew her orders to get back to the ship and was now standing hesitantly. "You don't mind if we go the next skycar lot?" She finally breathed out. "I mean, if you don't wanna get back to the Normandy asap."

"They won't leave without us anyway," Joker shrugged. "Besides, we're still on a shore leave, I could use some promenade."

She smiled at him and felt the urge to offer an arm. He would scowl at the very least for that. Shaking the feeling off Shepard moved to the markets, Joker by her side. "When this is over I'm bying, just somewhere quieter than Flux." She winced looking back at the flickering lights of the sings pulsing in tact with muffled bass sound.

"I bet you're life of the party, Commander," Joker pouted. His voice went raspy though, making him regret about the glass of water he left untouched at the club.

Shepard raised her eyebrows. "So you'd rather be in a crowded place where drunk people dance and riot? Alright..."

"Yeah well, that's why _you'll_ be there, as my bodyguard." Joker explained slyly as if it was the most obvious thing.

She scoffed, not even bothering to smile. "It's usually much more dangerous when I'm around." Man, she sounded tired.

"Alright, Commander, you pick the place. Just make sure they make these fancy coctails with umbrellas, okay?" That got her attention.

"What," she looked at him, bewildered, "Not beer anymore?"

Joker grinned. "When you're bying? Nah."

"So that's what real Jeff Moreau is like." Shepard narrowed her eyes at him. He couldn't tell if she was pissed or just mocking him. "Can't wait to find out more. I guess the drinks will get me more info." So, not pissed then. Good.

"Hey! That sort of imformation is classfied-- at least until the dinner." Wait, did he just stutter? Well, he clearly didn't ask his CO on a date for sure. _Crap._

Dramatic sigh. "You'll rob me blind."

"I heard that Commanders make more money than pilots, so..." he wistfully paused. "Consider it as chrarity."

"Joker, shut up and get into the car." Yeah, that was probably too much. She was laughing though.

"Yes, ma'am!"


	3. Chapter 3

"What's our status?"

Joker glanced up - the Commander was standing beside him, quick celebration after getting out from the Council’s watch already forgotten. When they departed from the Citadel she ran away, euphoric just as he was. Despite strict orders for the crew to rest Joker noticed little fires of activity in cargo hold and mess hall. Seemed like nobody slept at all. Just like the crew, quite ready to fly all day and night long, adrenaline still pumping in his veins (he stole the Normandy _again -_ no, wait, _they_ did it), the pilot hadn’t left the bridge even for a minute.

Obviously, Shepard would be no exception.

Joker adjusted his hat. “If you're asking "Are we there yet?" the answer is no. Otherwise it's all fine. Don’t you have a mission to prepare to, Commander?” He grumbled when she didn't acknowledge his remark.

“Trying to get me out of here, Lieutenant?” Shepard smirked, glad that for once _she_ was making him uncomfortable.

Joker grinned slightly, looking ahead again. “Nah, I’m good, ‘sjust kinda unsettling when you’re standing there. At least have a seat.”

She moved to the co-pilot seat: “That I can do.”

Neither seemed to find anything to say after that. At this point Joker would start humming some old sci-fi movies tunes if he wasn’t aware of Shepard’s presence so vividly. He was kind of sure she heard him singing like that, but it never really bothered him before.

Shepard stayed quiet. She focused her gaze, unmoving, hampering, on the controls and his hands flying, his fingers, long, precise and dedicated, not too fast, he was in no hurry, but swift nevertheless. Professional. It looked like an easy task, whatever he was doing, but so did Singularity when Liara used it, or head-butting enemy in close-range combat, like Wrex did. Joker’s hands were his weapon, his instrument, flight was his element, and he was brilliant at it.

Shepard realized, when the hands stopped moving, that he caught her watching, and that brought her out of stasis. She blinked, shifting her eyes on the pilot’s face, a flash moment to compose herself.

“Normandy to shore party,” Joker signaled smugly, and she huffed a small laugh. “You know, I’m not really good at mind-reading. Care to share?”

Shepard leaned in her seat, tilting her head back: “Just nervous, I guess. Ash kicked me out of the cargo hold before I wiped the guns we tried to clean into dust.”

The pilot chuckled as he recalled the footage from the hangar cameras where Williams almost violently shoved Shepard into the elevator, pressing buttons from the outside just to send her up. It would be unfair to the Commander to laugh his ass off right there, but it felt funny right now, when she admitted she was restless.

“See, that’s why I prefer a nap,” he lectured her dryly. “The worst thing that could happen is that we’d all wake up in the middle of an asteroid or something. Also note that that’s never happened, because mmm,” he teased, stretching his limbs and yawning theatrically, “Refreshing nap.”

Shepard narrowed her eyes. “You know that I may order you to get a normal sleep before hitting Ilos, right? Don’t need…” Words were drowned in her own yawn, “...any disturbing tendencies here.”

“Sure,” Joker replied readily. “Right behind you, ma’am.”

 _There goes the stare._ Her face scrunched. “Already; couldn’t sleep.”

“So you had to go and bother Williams then, didn't you?” He mocked her.

“Also Garrus - he literally shooed me away from the Mako.” Noted Shepard much to Joker’s bemusement. “What, I just wanted to ask if he needed supplies or something.”

He shook his head and turned back to the controls, side-glancing her. “You do realize they pout at you because you won’t take them planetside, right?”

“...Huh. That explains a lot,” she breathed out. “Liara was all official today, too - ‘Commander this’, ‘Commander that’... Great,” she muttered.

“Yeah, it sucks,” he agreed. “And you’re leaving me here babysitting your grumpy team.”

Shepard snorted. “Joker, you’re still the grumpiest. Gonna scold me, too?”

“Why would I?” He kept the light tone. “Just hate it when you’re on your own down there, and from what we know Ilos is much more sinister than, I don’t know, a dark basement of an obviously haunted house.” Joker visibly shivered.

“Hold on,” she tilted her head, “Are _you_ nervous?”

“Me?” He scoffed. “No.”

“Joker...” She moved in her seat to see his face better. He clenched his fists.

Shepard kept boring him with her eyes, so he shrugged. “Just slightly terrified, is all.” He managed to crack up a smile holding his hands up: “No big deal, ma'am, I’m used to it under your command. ‘Sides, I’ve got a stash of horror movies, so I’ll always know there’s something scarier out there.”

“You watch movies during the missions?” Shepard looked incredulous.

Joker smiled sheepishly. “To keep up the morale?”

She kicked back in her seat: “Unbelievable.”

“Yeah, I know, should’ve saved it for the shore leave. And a good company.” At Shepard’s raised eyebrow he shrugged: “Scary, y’know.”

“Well, you could watch something with Garrus and Ash while we’re on the ground,” Shepard suggested and this time he glared at her.

“Yeah, right, the best company - two dangerous guys who might break me if they fight over popcorn.”

Shepard’s brow furrowed. “Not sure Garrus even eats popcorn. Or _knows_ about it at this point.”

“If that meant to mess with Williams? He wouldn’t even need to care,” Joker deadpanned.

“If you say so,” Shepard shrugged. “You’d be the first to know about it anyway, eh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he singed.

“Sure you don’t, mr Scuttlebutt.”

Joker gasped. “It’s _Lieutenant_ Scuttlebutt, ma’am,” he snapped, but Shepard just rolled her eyes.

“You’re impossible.”

“Trying my best.”

The silence fell again, and Joker cleared his throat, looking blank. “Wanna watch something right now, Commander?” he finally managed. “There’s still some time before we get to Ilos, and I’m sick of recalibrations.”

Shepard’s face lit: “Alright, I could use some distraction. Just pick something without zombies or murders, okay?”

“Sheesh, Shepard,” he exclaimed, “If you wanna fall asleep in the process - sure, I could play some period drama. _The social network_ or something.”

“Hey,” she nudged his shoulder lightly, getting up. “Stop grouching and find something uplifting, I’ll bring the popcorn.”

“Uplifting, huh?” Joker smirked, muttering, stretched his hands and flexed his fingers.

“I heard that,” Shepard replied from behind his back, and he chuckled opening his omnitool. If they were not coming back from this one - _and they were, they had to_ \- at least he got to test Shepard’s nerves once more. And she’d let him, as usual, which was better and probably more than he ever expected from her.

* * *

Coming back and noticing the preview picture of the movie, Shepard groaned. “Really, Joker? _Blasto strikes back?_ ”

“What?” The pilot wondered in perplexity while she set the popcorn bowl in his lap. “It’s the best part!”

“You know that _Return of the Blasto_ is the best,” she crossed her arms lifting her eyebrow.

“Yeah. If you’re _five_ ,” Moreau retorted. _She’s impossible._ Not that he complained.

She chose another tactic. “Joker, I specifically requested: no. killing.”

“Alright, fine.” He raised his hands in defeat. “You’re no fun, Commander.”

“Do you think they call me Killjoy for no reason?” Shepard inquired with dry laugh when he skipped the page pouting and loaded _Return of the Blasto_.

Joker tossed her offended look: “Hey! _I_ called you that first and you know it. So stop using my jokes against me.” As usual, exaggerated emotions really helped him not to break with laughter right there.

“Huh, you never admitted that one before. Good that we cleared the air.” With shit-eating grin she sat back in co-pilot’s chair, clearly satisfied.

Muttering half-heartedly: “Well, ‘guess I’ve just burnt myself,” Joker threw some popcorn in his mouth.

“I had my suspicions. Since the armor prank, remember?” She added in too cheerful voice.

He growled, palm covering his face. “I’ll never live that one down, will I?” _Hopefully_.

“Gotta keep you on your toes, Joker.” Shepard chuckled and he involuntarily snorted as well.

“Yeah, Doctor Chakwas will be _super_ thrilled when she finds out how exactly I broke my toes.” To his pleasure, she laughed harder and he hit the play button.

* * *

“We should do that more often,” Joker contentedly sighed when the ending credits started. “Definitely with more popcorn though...”

“Yeah, so you’d eat mine again,” Shepard muttered. “Should’ve brought sandwiches.”

He grinned: “Yeah, and some booze. I don’t know why you didn’t think it through, Commander.”

“Hey!” She snatched now almost empty bowl from him. “I’m the aggrieved party here.”

Joker set his arms behind his head: “Well, once you kick Saren’s ass and come back in one piece we just have to watch a normal movie - you know, with guts and blood - and have some normal food.”

“You just had to promise guts and food in one sentence.” Shepard snorted.

“Anything for my favourite Commander,” with cheeky grin he winked at her. _Man, this has become a weird habit._

“Wow, you’re spoiling me,” astonished smile appeared on Shepard’s face. “Dinner and a movie, “favourite Commander”... I might get used to it.”

Joker gulped at the sudden change of the tone, but played it nonchalantly: “I guess that’s fair - you’re still buying me fancy cocktails with umbrella, remember?”

“Sure, you keep reminding me that all the time.” _Good, back to bantering._

“Can’t let you relax, can I.”

“You could try,” noted Shepard slyly. Wait, _what?_

He shifted in his seat, refusing to face her. “I'm afraid my methods are against Alliance regulations, ma'am.”

“Is that a promise, Lieutenant?” Jeff gaped at her finally looking back, but couldn’t find that mocking stare he got so used to. Shepard's smile was twitchy, like she was trying and failing to erase the grin from her face.

He watched her seriously for a moment - _Ah, to hell with that_ \- then shrugged and turned to the controls. “If you want to,” he spoke looking ahead.

Surprised, she laughed: “Well, that’s reassuring,” and Joker couldn’t help but whistle.

“Damn, Shepard, you must be really nervous if a _date_ can cheer you up.”

“Well, a good company does that," Shepard smiled. "I don't know what's going to happen on Ilos, but I’m glad the crew came to understand and tolerate each other. Hopefully, that’ll be enough.” She sighed deeply.

“You’ve done some great work, Shepard.” Joker answered instantly. _And I'll do mine._ “Especially that part where you stole an amazing ship right from under the Counselors’ noses.”

She snorted, but nodded. “Wouldn’t have done it without you.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling you since day one,” he bragged.

“You know you don’t have to prove anything to me,” she scolded lightly. “As long as we stay sharp and focused we’ll be okay. I hope.”

“Yeah, you'd better,” he interjected. Shepard didn't answer.

She kept smiling at him when he faced her again. “It's cute when you're worried.”

“What? No I'm not. Besides you keep insulting me like that and our deal’s off.”

Shepard pouted: “It's okay, Joker, I won't tell anybody.” He almost yelped when she pecked him in the cheek.

“Damn it, Shepard, your nose is cold!” _Totally worth it._


End file.
